What do you do all day?

A couple weekends ago we went camping with some friends who all have 3-5 kids. It was a great weekend, we had so much fun! At one point I was sitting at the picnic tables with a 5 other adults and one guy asked me, "What are your hobbies?" I was a little caught off guard because I haven't had someone ask me that question in that way since I single. Hobbies? Huh? What are those? I was stumped. I quickly recovered, since I noticed four other women were listening and waiting for my answer. Pressure. So I was honest. I said, "I love to be outside doing anything...mostly running and biking. I have an online business and I love to read." Hmmm...seemed a little blah, but nonetheless that's all I could think of on the spot.

Then the other ladies started to chime in, saying things like, "I remember when we were first married I didn't have kids or a job for 6 months and I told my friends with kids that I get to do all the things they don't have time for." Or another response, "Yeah, those were the days, my house was the cleanest it's ever been."  Etc.

Wow. Now it made sense. They were all wondering what I do all day since I don't have kids and I don't have a full time job. I've actually been asked this question quite a few times and it automatically puts me on edge. Makes it seem like because I don't have children or a job that I'm not doing anything worthwhile with my time. Ha! Sure, some days I have more free time than others, but I'm usually always busy. 

One of these days I'm going to be brutally honest and say to someone, "I don't have any kids, but we've been trying for almost 4 years and I don't have a job because I'm constantly going to doctor's appointments or to the lab to get my blood drawn or to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions or in my bed from nausea, fatigue, or migraines from all that drugs I'm constantly taking and injecting into my body on a daily basis." I've tried to have even a part time job while doing fertility treatments and it just doesn't work for me. It's too hard, too much stress and we all know that the "S" word is the arch enemy of the "I" word. Plus, when I take a job, I want to do the best I can and be there for my employer, I don't ever do things half way. Right now, I know I can't commit myself completely to a company or employer, so my solution was to start a home business. I've been very successful so far and looking forward to expanding and growing my business in the future. It has been a blessing that has come from struggling with infertility...if I didn't have this time at home, without children, I know I wouldn't have been able to start my business. 

What do I do all day? 

A lot. Come on over, we'll hang out and you can see for yourself. 

I like big Schmeebs and I cannot lie

A few days ago I was talking to a fellow military spouse and she mentions she's going to have surgery at the end of the month. Surprised, I asked her why and she bashfully said, "For a breast reduction. After you have kids they just aren't the same. They don't look the same and don't stay where they are suppose to." Almost as an afterthought, she adds, "I also get really bad back and neck pain and sometimes migraines." Because she feels "pain", this procedure will be completely covered by Tricare (military health insurance). Then she explains that she's been trying to have it done for a long time now, but the waiting list is so long she just barely got called. Gees girls, just be proud of what you got and stop trying to change yourself! Anyways...

During our conversation my first thought was how many times I've wished I could get a breast reduction because I'm no amateur to the pain that comes from having large, voluptuous schmeebs. I've grown me some good ones. Oh how disappointed my husband would be to see them go ;)

Next, I naturally think about how this could possibly tie into anything having to do with infertility, because that's what I do. Infertility is constantly on my mind. Which sometimes tends to lead to illogical connections, especially if you combined that with the hormones I'm shoving into my body every night right now. However, this is not one of those times. This is completely rational.

Why does the military health insurance cover a procedure like a breast reduction and not IVF (in vitro fertilization)? See, rational. Thank you very much.

Trust me, the fact that I have big boobs is not nearly as painful physically or mentally as going through infertility. My boobs have never been the cause of heart aching, heart wrenching, heart breaking pain like seeing a negative line on a pregnancy test has been. Nor have my boobs caused marital stress, in fact they are sometimes the thing that prevents or helps relieve marital stress. And I just can't say that like IVF, my boobs have ever been a gigantic, crushing financial burden, unless you think spending $50 for a new bra qualifies. The pain that infertility causes is very real, very difficult and relentless. But Tricare seems to think that having big scheembs is more worth their resources to help fix then it is for couples who struggle to have children.

To all those who've had breast reductions, I'm cool with that. It may not seem like it, but I really am. I just want infertility to be recognized by my insurance as something a thousand times more painful and worth the resources to help with then a breast reduction.